Alright folks it’s been a long vacation since I wrote something last time, so grant me the honor of trying a little something to entertain you once again. Now since the flowery kiss a** opening statement is over; let’s get straight down to business. As most of you would be knowing, that despite my level of ignorance, I have somehow managed to drag myself in the final year of engineering, where as a part of so called curriculum (yawn….m feelin drowsy!) we have to MAKE a project – ‘all by ourselves’. Yes I agree, that’s the height of stupidity. But still, formality hai yaar…Anyways, a bunch of no brainers, lazybones and kind of electheists (who don’t believe in electricity {m doin electrical engg if that ain’t general knowledge by now}) congregated to form a so called project batch! After much brainstorming (which means having a couple of vada pavs, discussing about the latest lafdas, ogling at some of the B.Sc females{you can’t call’em babes here!} and loadsa coffee sessions), it was decided to ‘OUTSOURCE’ our project to an agent in Pune. Outsourcing is a beautiful term which refers to the act of conveniently buying an entire project which is suggested, modeled, manufactured and tested by the agent before handing it down to the needful idiots like us. (Obviously it comes with a ridiculous price tag but hey…chalta hai yaar…there is no scope for screwing up things up when you are getting everything done by a professional….oh wait…there is! Always!)
Anyways, to cut the crap shorter, we had to visit Pune almost every weekend and it was this weird place which got my writing cap thinking. The most agonizing thing for me was the fact that going to Pune ain’t much like a luxury cruise…It involves traveling by an S.T. bus. Man, tell you guys what; I personally would like to believe that these buses are the final and the finished products of our very own desi junkyard wars. Anyhow, the grueling 4 hour journey causing a little displacement of the junk inside our bodies and the hell raising noise became a routine in a few weeks time. Apparently, during these numerous visits, we discovered all the hangout spots and even found some of our pass out seniors living nearby so that we could ‘hangout’ (What kind of a word is that anyways…) It was during these times that I figured Pune had many places with helluva crazy names…need proof? Nal rasta (bathroom wala Nal yaar) didn’t have any connection with a Nal (tap) or even with a plumber…wakad (what does that mean anyways?)…Erandwana (What language is it?)…Baner (wh..wh..what?) Bavdhan (again…what?)…Khadki (We’ve heard of khidki for sure…but what’s khadki?) Pimpri Chinchwad (yeah yeah….) Whatever, its gets even crazier when you hear the local people pronounce the names.
Talking of the hangout places, there is FC road, JM road, MG road, Pune Camp, Kothrud, Central Mall and many more. Most of the times, we ‘hanged’ around on JM road. Again it’s an interesting name….the abbreviation JM stands for Junglee Maharaj Road… (Seriously, why would anybody name a place as cool as this as Junglee Maharaj road!).As far as the place is concerned there is this distinct feel attached to it. Ever remember the times when we were kids and we dreamed of being in a fantasy land made just out of chocolate? Chocolate all over and around you, like the ones they show in TV ads. Open your mouth and chocolate falls all over into it while you just bounce around like a football, eyes shimmering with delight, face delighted and dipped in chocolate, playing in a choco pool rubbing it all over your…….Alright enough of the damned vision. The thing is, when we grow up, the chocolates are still there in our fantasies, but they acquire certain shape, size and colour (Ah…Haa!). Being in JM road was just like that. Lots and lots of chocolates (eye candies or whatever you choose to call’em) walking by, a Crosswords store for the kamaau and/or Daddyz babiez types, roadside thelas and book wallahs (who surprisingly have a lot more books put together than the crosswords) for the piggy bank fellas, McDonalds and a range of restaurants and food parlors plus the clothes and accessories shops…..It’s a high risk zone for your ATM/Debit/Credit cards….During the late evening hours when it gets dark, the tall trees and the nearby garden place is decorated with small LED lights(At least at that time, it was) and the vibrant colors and lights from the shops and the street make it heavenly. Add to that a cool breeze blowing in your face!
During one such time, I was supposed to wait for one of my friends who was to meet me at a bus stop just in front of the McDz I mentioned before. Apparently, I reached an hour before and roamed the whole street twice doing exactly what guys of my age do on places like these. Interestingly, I thought of a frustoo game often played by some of my seniors. It required keeping a count of how many candies just walked past by, which you could ogle at! I could see my counter running very fast that day. So much was the count that the quota for an entire month suddenly appeared full.(Now don’t judge me or my desperateness based on this!) Sick and tired of just ogling and doing nothing, I leaned over the rails in solitude at the so called bus stop. The weird thing about that bus stop is that it is fully functional and yet not a single bus stops there for any reason whatsoever. Soon enough, a pretty decent girl walked by, all alone and leaned on the other side of the railing. A plain blue tee, black jeans, hair tied up in a single pony tail, she seemed lost in the crowd. Gazing directly above at the stars, struggling to untangle the earphones, she seemed kind of engrossed in making herself comfortable at the bus stop. [‘Seems like I got myself a cute company’…I thought]. Soon, she seemed busy listening to some music on her cellphone. [‘Now what in the name of dirty devil am I supposed to do?’]. There were many dumb things to do. I chose to do the dumbest…plugged in my earphones in the cell and turned on the radio torture. Pune, inspite of being such a big city has got very few radio stations. Radio mirchi is the worst. It’s like they insert half or three quarters of a song in between some of the most irritating ads ever. Add to that the RJs are dumb…The language used is marathi +hindi +English and the RJs make sure each of the language is equally slaughtered! The songs played are handpicked from the worst ever collection in the industry.
After much cross firing(suggest me a better word for it) between the eyes, she did see me loking at her![‘Alright so we have a little situation over here….Whats wrong at ogling? Oh man…what should I do…? Should I go and talk to her…?May be start a conversation? Ergh…Why is it always the guy who has to do the talking?…But what if?….Well if I do…what should be my first sentence…?] As I was busy framing this fictional conversation between me and the complete stranger in front of me, the friend for whom I was supposed to be waiting called up. “Abe yaar, 15-20 min aur late ho jaunga…bus miss ho gayi… [Yeah…Go to hell…What was I thinking..? Ha….]. I would definitely have explained it to you guys reading this, how interesting our conversation went and how something totally out of the blue happened and how wonderful that stranger turned out to be. Turns out, I was still in the real world…and as usual I didn’t have 10 grams worth of confidence in my 80 kg worth of useless mass to go and talk…Poor me….Well…After some time a guy came along, said a little hi to her, may be sorry or something for being late and shoo…they were gone just like that… [Oh puhleez get real you bugger...What did you think….What if..?...ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP!.] That’s strike one…I thought. Gazed at the watch…my friend still had some 15 minutes left to arrive..I made myself comfortable. Sat on the chair and threw my legs over the rails, still listening to the radio, which by chance was playing one of the latest songs by the nasal epidemic haunting the nation! Soon enough, it happened once again…two girls came almost from nowhere stood for some time…chatted, giggled and strangely ogled at almost all the dudes passing by. (Yes you gals don’t you lie now….you do ogle…and ogle you more than the boys…) Some time later, two guys came, escorted the ladies and off they went! The same scene repeated quite a couple of times…Hence I discovered that it was a kind of meeting place for the cupids….[Oh dear dumb headed moron, Hell must be better than this……..being at the most erroneous place at the right time! Ha!] Well, some time later, my friend came along and sat with me. Being pretty tired from all the PMT bus journey and stuff, he leaned his back on the chair and dropped the head over the back rest. He put one arm around my neck and we guys resembled a tired lot dozing off in happily in each others embrace (or whatever it can be called) [Oh Oh!!] It kind of felt weird, when almost 70 percent of the guys and gals passing by us threw curious glances at us followed by a smug smile! After quite a lot of thought, it finally struck me as to what those guys might be thinking “Oh what the heck! Abe chal yaha se…yeh Pune hai…sheher hai! Karad nahi…" i said as we rushed past that cursed spot!
It was late evening and we were a hungry lot. We hopped in to the McDz right behind us to grab a bite at something we could lay our hands on. Now, I am a vegetarian (this status keeps changing time to time...) and McDz is not exactly a place for veggies like me. I wouldn’t like to disrespect any of the ‘motu’ folks, but ‘motu’ would definitely be an understatement for the demons I saw in over there. Amit, dear fellow, remember me calling you ‘expanded’ in my last blog, you should have seen what I saw! Yeah I may be exaggerating a little, but some of the typical Pune folks are just huge…just huge enough to give a superiority complex to the little tummy flaunters like us. Anyways, we moved out as soon as we were done with the stupid thing (which I can’t or may be won’t like to remember) we got ourselves to eat! Still having some place left in the tummy, we headed to some restaurant called Shri Krishna…It looked kind of a decent and average restaurant....Unfortunately, decent, the food wasn't and average the price wasn't...The sandwich I ordered was somewhat similar to the ones made by 7 year old when they are given some bread slices and vegetables to play with., it was cut into two pieces with one piece almost double the size of other, lots of ketchup smashed all over it and to top it all, it cost me 45 pretty b**ch*s…..leaving the quality of food apart, the price of the other food items was just ridiculous….i mean why would anybody pay 75 f**kin rupees for pav-bhaji in a place which looks something like the Shivanand at Tarapur? Still weird was the menu card…It said at one place that ‘Our first mother tongue is Marathi only’… What? What the hell is that supposed to mean….? What’s a first mother tongue? Without bothering to probe into it, we zoomed off from that place.
During a different time, I happened to be at this irani restaurant (don’t remember the name!) in Appa Balwant Chowk (popularly known as ABC) which has made quite a reputation for its egg dishes. We got ourselves a little omlette sandwich to eat followed by some buttermilk. The peculiar thing about this place is that buttermilk or chaas is something which isn’t served in glass but in bottles which more than just resemble beer bottles! Interestingly, even that place had some quirk attached to it. Written all over the walls was ‘krupaya konihi ithe basun kuthlehi paper kiva magazine vaachu naye. Kahipan lihnyachi suddha parvangi nahi aahe. Patte khelne, gappa marne kiva konachi vaat pahane mana aahe. Lavkaraat lavkar apan order keleli dish khaun zalyaas chalte vhave. Dhanyavaad’. Roughly, when translated, that means, “Please don’t read any newspapers or magazines over here. You are not even allowed to write anything. Playing cards, gossiping, or waiting for anybody is also prohibited. Kindly leave after you are done with whatever order you have given is served to you. Thank You.” Weird! Isn't it? Speaking of food, there is this fabulous place at FC road (sorry again…don’t know the name!) which sells Parathas and is so very famous for it. I haven’t tried them out yet, but if any of you guys happen to grab a bite in it, do make it a point to spread the word around! Then there is one more place at the dceccan gymkhana which sells typical maharashtrian breakfast early morning in kilos and litres! A unique feature of food habits in Pune is the tapri culture. There are these small shacks or tapris which sell everything from dosa, idli, vadas, upma, poha, the mixture of any of these items with a splash of sambhar and chutney on it! And they are very popular hangouts for the IT savvy and BPO junta who work late nights and turn up early in the morning at 4 am to have this so called breakfast!
Amongst the unique things, MG road is a walking plaza on Sundays, where you can shop as late as it gets and also feel glad for staying away from all the fancy bikes and cars and just drool along like an idiot all day long, doing what folks of our age do in places like these! The one thing, which I like most about Pune, is that, unlike Mumbai, you don’t have rely on a local train for any kind of traveling whatsoever! You got a bike, you turn on the ignition, and off you fly! That’s one reason why, Pune folks are so lazy and, ahem, ‘expanded’! Talking of the local crowd, it’s rowdy and highly argumentative! The plus point is, that by visiting this place, you can learn how to insult someone in the most sophisticated and polished manner and leave him/her wondering, what the hell did that mean? The negative side is that guys who are not familiar with the local language can sometimes get nasty surprises. The good thing is that, it’s not called oxford of the east just like that. There are loads of colleges, which implies, a lot of young crowd! The climate here is just awesome in winters and spring & the rainy days. Weekends can be spent in nearby places like lonavala, khandala, mahabaleshwar, sahyadris and so on. These places are just a matter of 3-4 hours on a bike!
Anyhow, we got the project finally some 3-4 weeks back, and the euphoric infatuation with Pune just got dormant. But anyways, it’s a fun place to be in. Something or the other is always quite weird here which makes it all the more fascinating. One suggestion – If you intend to roam in Pune, do it in the night, on a bike! You won’t be able to shop much, but the food just gets better, the crowd just gets nastier(;-D), the temperatures soar a little lower and the mood lightens a lot merrier!
Anyways, to cut the crap shorter, we had to visit Pune almost every weekend and it was this weird place which got my writing cap thinking. The most agonizing thing for me was the fact that going to Pune ain’t much like a luxury cruise…It involves traveling by an S.T. bus. Man, tell you guys what; I personally would like to believe that these buses are the final and the finished products of our very own desi junkyard wars. Anyhow, the grueling 4 hour journey causing a little displacement of the junk inside our bodies and the hell raising noise became a routine in a few weeks time. Apparently, during these numerous visits, we discovered all the hangout spots and even found some of our pass out seniors living nearby so that we could ‘hangout’ (What kind of a word is that anyways…) It was during these times that I figured Pune had many places with helluva crazy names…need proof? Nal rasta (bathroom wala Nal yaar) didn’t have any connection with a Nal (tap) or even with a plumber…wakad (what does that mean anyways?)…Erandwana (What language is it?)…Baner (wh..wh..what?) Bavdhan (again…what?)…Khadki (We’ve heard of khidki for sure…but what’s khadki?) Pimpri Chinchwad (yeah yeah….) Whatever, its gets even crazier when you hear the local people pronounce the names.
Talking of the hangout places, there is FC road, JM road, MG road, Pune Camp, Kothrud, Central Mall and many more. Most of the times, we ‘hanged’ around on JM road. Again it’s an interesting name….the abbreviation JM stands for Junglee Maharaj Road… (Seriously, why would anybody name a place as cool as this as Junglee Maharaj road!).As far as the place is concerned there is this distinct feel attached to it. Ever remember the times when we were kids and we dreamed of being in a fantasy land made just out of chocolate? Chocolate all over and around you, like the ones they show in TV ads. Open your mouth and chocolate falls all over into it while you just bounce around like a football, eyes shimmering with delight, face delighted and dipped in chocolate, playing in a choco pool rubbing it all over your…….Alright enough of the damned vision. The thing is, when we grow up, the chocolates are still there in our fantasies, but they acquire certain shape, size and colour (Ah…Haa!). Being in JM road was just like that. Lots and lots of chocolates (eye candies or whatever you choose to call’em) walking by, a Crosswords store for the kamaau and/or Daddyz babiez types, roadside thelas and book wallahs (who surprisingly have a lot more books put together than the crosswords) for the piggy bank fellas, McDonalds and a range of restaurants and food parlors plus the clothes and accessories shops…..It’s a high risk zone for your ATM/Debit/Credit cards….During the late evening hours when it gets dark, the tall trees and the nearby garden place is decorated with small LED lights(At least at that time, it was) and the vibrant colors and lights from the shops and the street make it heavenly. Add to that a cool breeze blowing in your face!
During one such time, I was supposed to wait for one of my friends who was to meet me at a bus stop just in front of the McDz I mentioned before. Apparently, I reached an hour before and roamed the whole street twice doing exactly what guys of my age do on places like these. Interestingly, I thought of a frustoo game often played by some of my seniors. It required keeping a count of how many candies just walked past by, which you could ogle at! I could see my counter running very fast that day. So much was the count that the quota for an entire month suddenly appeared full.(Now don’t judge me or my desperateness based on this!) Sick and tired of just ogling and doing nothing, I leaned over the rails in solitude at the so called bus stop. The weird thing about that bus stop is that it is fully functional and yet not a single bus stops there for any reason whatsoever. Soon enough, a pretty decent girl walked by, all alone and leaned on the other side of the railing. A plain blue tee, black jeans, hair tied up in a single pony tail, she seemed lost in the crowd. Gazing directly above at the stars, struggling to untangle the earphones, she seemed kind of engrossed in making herself comfortable at the bus stop. [‘Seems like I got myself a cute company’…I thought]. Soon, she seemed busy listening to some music on her cellphone. [‘Now what in the name of dirty devil am I supposed to do?’]. There were many dumb things to do. I chose to do the dumbest…plugged in my earphones in the cell and turned on the radio torture. Pune, inspite of being such a big city has got very few radio stations. Radio mirchi is the worst. It’s like they insert half or three quarters of a song in between some of the most irritating ads ever. Add to that the RJs are dumb…The language used is marathi +hindi +English and the RJs make sure each of the language is equally slaughtered! The songs played are handpicked from the worst ever collection in the industry.
After much cross firing(suggest me a better word for it) between the eyes, she did see me loking at her![‘Alright so we have a little situation over here….Whats wrong at ogling? Oh man…what should I do…? Should I go and talk to her…?May be start a conversation? Ergh…Why is it always the guy who has to do the talking?…But what if?….Well if I do…what should be my first sentence…?] As I was busy framing this fictional conversation between me and the complete stranger in front of me, the friend for whom I was supposed to be waiting called up. “Abe yaar, 15-20 min aur late ho jaunga…bus miss ho gayi… [Yeah…Go to hell…What was I thinking..? Ha….]. I would definitely have explained it to you guys reading this, how interesting our conversation went and how something totally out of the blue happened and how wonderful that stranger turned out to be. Turns out, I was still in the real world…and as usual I didn’t have 10 grams worth of confidence in my 80 kg worth of useless mass to go and talk…Poor me….Well…After some time a guy came along, said a little hi to her, may be sorry or something for being late and shoo…they were gone just like that… [Oh puhleez get real you bugger...What did you think….What if..?...ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP!.] That’s strike one…I thought. Gazed at the watch…my friend still had some 15 minutes left to arrive..I made myself comfortable. Sat on the chair and threw my legs over the rails, still listening to the radio, which by chance was playing one of the latest songs by the nasal epidemic haunting the nation! Soon enough, it happened once again…two girls came almost from nowhere stood for some time…chatted, giggled and strangely ogled at almost all the dudes passing by. (Yes you gals don’t you lie now….you do ogle…and ogle you more than the boys…) Some time later, two guys came, escorted the ladies and off they went! The same scene repeated quite a couple of times…Hence I discovered that it was a kind of meeting place for the cupids….[Oh dear dumb headed moron, Hell must be better than this……..being at the most erroneous place at the right time! Ha!] Well, some time later, my friend came along and sat with me. Being pretty tired from all the PMT bus journey and stuff, he leaned his back on the chair and dropped the head over the back rest. He put one arm around my neck and we guys resembled a tired lot dozing off in happily in each others embrace (or whatever it can be called) [Oh Oh!!] It kind of felt weird, when almost 70 percent of the guys and gals passing by us threw curious glances at us followed by a smug smile! After quite a lot of thought, it finally struck me as to what those guys might be thinking “Oh what the heck! Abe chal yaha se…yeh Pune hai…sheher hai! Karad nahi…" i said as we rushed past that cursed spot!
It was late evening and we were a hungry lot. We hopped in to the McDz right behind us to grab a bite at something we could lay our hands on. Now, I am a vegetarian (this status keeps changing time to time...) and McDz is not exactly a place for veggies like me. I wouldn’t like to disrespect any of the ‘motu’ folks, but ‘motu’ would definitely be an understatement for the demons I saw in over there. Amit, dear fellow, remember me calling you ‘expanded’ in my last blog, you should have seen what I saw! Yeah I may be exaggerating a little, but some of the typical Pune folks are just huge…just huge enough to give a superiority complex to the little tummy flaunters like us. Anyways, we moved out as soon as we were done with the stupid thing (which I can’t or may be won’t like to remember) we got ourselves to eat! Still having some place left in the tummy, we headed to some restaurant called Shri Krishna…It looked kind of a decent and average restaurant....Unfortunately, decent, the food wasn't and average the price wasn't...The sandwich I ordered was somewhat similar to the ones made by 7 year old when they are given some bread slices and vegetables to play with., it was cut into two pieces with one piece almost double the size of other, lots of ketchup smashed all over it and to top it all, it cost me 45 pretty b**ch*s…..leaving the quality of food apart, the price of the other food items was just ridiculous….i mean why would anybody pay 75 f**kin rupees for pav-bhaji in a place which looks something like the Shivanand at Tarapur? Still weird was the menu card…It said at one place that ‘Our first mother tongue is Marathi only’… What? What the hell is that supposed to mean….? What’s a first mother tongue? Without bothering to probe into it, we zoomed off from that place.
During a different time, I happened to be at this irani restaurant (don’t remember the name!) in Appa Balwant Chowk (popularly known as ABC) which has made quite a reputation for its egg dishes. We got ourselves a little omlette sandwich to eat followed by some buttermilk. The peculiar thing about this place is that buttermilk or chaas is something which isn’t served in glass but in bottles which more than just resemble beer bottles! Interestingly, even that place had some quirk attached to it. Written all over the walls was ‘krupaya konihi ithe basun kuthlehi paper kiva magazine vaachu naye. Kahipan lihnyachi suddha parvangi nahi aahe. Patte khelne, gappa marne kiva konachi vaat pahane mana aahe. Lavkaraat lavkar apan order keleli dish khaun zalyaas chalte vhave. Dhanyavaad’. Roughly, when translated, that means, “Please don’t read any newspapers or magazines over here. You are not even allowed to write anything. Playing cards, gossiping, or waiting for anybody is also prohibited. Kindly leave after you are done with whatever order you have given is served to you. Thank You.” Weird! Isn't it? Speaking of food, there is this fabulous place at FC road (sorry again…don’t know the name!) which sells Parathas and is so very famous for it. I haven’t tried them out yet, but if any of you guys happen to grab a bite in it, do make it a point to spread the word around! Then there is one more place at the dceccan gymkhana which sells typical maharashtrian breakfast early morning in kilos and litres! A unique feature of food habits in Pune is the tapri culture. There are these small shacks or tapris which sell everything from dosa, idli, vadas, upma, poha, the mixture of any of these items with a splash of sambhar and chutney on it! And they are very popular hangouts for the IT savvy and BPO junta who work late nights and turn up early in the morning at 4 am to have this so called breakfast!
Amongst the unique things, MG road is a walking plaza on Sundays, where you can shop as late as it gets and also feel glad for staying away from all the fancy bikes and cars and just drool along like an idiot all day long, doing what folks of our age do in places like these! The one thing, which I like most about Pune, is that, unlike Mumbai, you don’t have rely on a local train for any kind of traveling whatsoever! You got a bike, you turn on the ignition, and off you fly! That’s one reason why, Pune folks are so lazy and, ahem, ‘expanded’! Talking of the local crowd, it’s rowdy and highly argumentative! The plus point is, that by visiting this place, you can learn how to insult someone in the most sophisticated and polished manner and leave him/her wondering, what the hell did that mean? The negative side is that guys who are not familiar with the local language can sometimes get nasty surprises. The good thing is that, it’s not called oxford of the east just like that. There are loads of colleges, which implies, a lot of young crowd! The climate here is just awesome in winters and spring & the rainy days. Weekends can be spent in nearby places like lonavala, khandala, mahabaleshwar, sahyadris and so on. These places are just a matter of 3-4 hours on a bike!
Anyhow, we got the project finally some 3-4 weeks back, and the euphoric infatuation with Pune just got dormant. But anyways, it’s a fun place to be in. Something or the other is always quite weird here which makes it all the more fascinating. One suggestion – If you intend to roam in Pune, do it in the night, on a bike! You won’t be able to shop much, but the food just gets better, the crowd just gets nastier(;-D), the temperatures soar a little lower and the mood lightens a lot merrier!
